Dear Doctors: My husband and I usually make a few resolutions for the new year. This year, I skipped it because I never follow through, and I wind up feeling bad about myself. My husband did OK for about a month, but now he’s also quit trying. Why are resolutions so hard to keep?
Dear Reader: As the launch pad for a fresh start, New Year’s Day is pretty irresistible. It’s the crescendo to a month (or two, if you’ve started at Halloween) of celebratory eating, drinking and socializing. By the time we crack open that brand-new calendar, we’re ready to tackle some changes in our lives. Although we think of those changes as resolutions -- lose weight, exercise more, save money, quit sugar, quit smoking, spend less time on social media -- what they really boil down to are plans to form a new habit. And that’s where things get tricky.
Research tells us that forming a new habit involves the creation of new neural pathways. You are basically rewiring your brain. This takes a lot of repetition, often over a significant period of time. An added complication is that to successfully form a new habit, there is usually at least one old habit you will have to break. You not only have to be willing to take the time and energy to adopt a new behavior, but you also have to put in the work to let go of an old one. This often means being willing to endure a certain amount of mental and physical discomfort.
Force of will can get you through a few days, or even a few weeks, of a new habit. But to successfully integrate a new behavior into the bedrock of daily life takes strategic planning. One interesting study found that how you state your goal plays a role. People whose desired habits were of the “I will” variety were more successful than those who approached their resolutions with “I won’t.”
Also important in goal-setting is to be as precise as possible. Rather than the vague “exercise more,” choose a specific target. Then break that into realistic increments. Maybe the wish is to run a 10k race. To get there, the first step may involve a 15- or 20-minute walk/run three or four days a week. Once that becomes a habit, you can gradually begin to increase the time and distance.
As many people who have successfully modified their behavior can attest, slip-ups are often part of the process. You wind up skipping a day, or perhaps even a week, of working toward your new goal. It can be tempting to view these lapses as a failure. But the good news is that the new neural pathways you have been building still exist. It means returning to the new behaviors will be easier than launching them had been.
It can be even easier, and more fun, with someone to support you. You might also consider goal-sharing with a friend, a family member or co-worker. Having support in the ups and downs of a transformational journey can make a big difference to its ultimate success.
(Send your questions to askthedoctors@mednet.ucla.edu, or write: Ask the Doctors, c/o UCLA Health Sciences Media Relations, 10960 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 1955, Los Angeles, CA, 90024. Owing to the volume of mail, personal replies cannot be provided.)
