Feb. 2, 2020 is a date Joanne Slobodien will never forget. First, it’s a palindrome date, written the same forward or backward — the first one in 909 years. It was a Super Bowl Sunday and she saw her favorite team, the Kansas City Chiefs, take the title.
It was also the day she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.
She knew that day something was very wrong. A few days earlier she noticed her pants starting to get snug, but assumed it was because she just celebrated her 57th birthday and had some extra cake and wine. But when she got up on Feb. 2, her stomach was so enlarged, she thought she looked nine months pregnant.
When she made it to the emergency room later that evening, she learned the abdominal swelling was a symptom of ovarian cancer.
Slobodien, a mother of three, was devastated. She assumed her life would be calculated in days.
After reviewing her options, she decided to travel from Orange County to Los Angeles to get treatment with Beth Karlan, MD, the vice chair of women’s health research in the obstetrics and gynecology department in the David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA and director of cancer population genetics at the UCLA Health Jonsson Comprehensive Cancer Center.
“When I met Dr. Karlan, I knew I had found my fellow warrior to help me fight this disease,” said Slobodien. “She was strong, knowledgeable and brutally honest. I loved her from day one.”
Four years after going through chemotherapy, an abdominal tumor debulking surgery including a hysterectomy, and then brain surgery to remove a metastasis, Slobodien is getting back to her active lifestyle and doing what she loves best: spending time with her family, including her new granddaughter.
Here, based on her own cancer journey, she shares five bits of advice she would give others who are just starting to navigate their diagnosis and treatment plan.
Let others help you.
I spent way too long trying to be strong by myself. I never wanted my family to worry about me, but it’s OK to rely on them. They love you. They want to support you. Many of us think that we have to be strong through everything and that’s not true. My family is very competitive and into sports so everything we did was as a team. That really helped me because I never felt like I was by myself. I never saw my husband upset, he was always the one who took copious notes at doctor’s appointments and made it very easy for me. As a patient, you can sometimes go into appointments and let fear get in the way so you don’t always pay attention. My husband wrote everything down so I could reread it and that was very helpful.
Joanne Slobodien with her family. Photo courtesy of Slobodien.Take control and be proactive.
One of the most therapeutic things I did was shave my own hair at a friend’s salon by the beach with the windows wide open. My hair energized in the wind and swirled around the room like a Disney movie. Then my acupuncturist, also a friend, shaved her head. We were laughing and taking control of the one thing I could control at the time. It was a beautiful life-changing experience.
I also became my own advocate, researched my best options for managing the side effects and instituted them into my weekly schedule. I also made a point to get dressed and out of bed daily no matter how I was feeling. We were locked inside a lot because of COVID, but I painted a ton of paint-by-numbers and tried to keep to my rule of having at least an adventure a day. This helped give me a sense of purpose because the most important thing is to feel like your life still matters.
It’s OK to feel sad. But don’t let it linger.
The only time I really felt sorry for myself was when I was told I had ovarian cancer and I freaked out for a second. I allowed my fear to take over until I got home from the ER and took back control. I decided I was going to take ownership of my disease, love myself back to healthy, and only spew positive thoughts. The most valuable lesson I learned is to fight on, never give up, and to allow those you love support and love you through this.
Attitude is a big part of the battle.
Ovarian cancer is not a death sentence. Your attitude and approach to fighting this disease is 80% of the battle. Get educated and empower yourself. Learn from others before you. Social media is great – get the answers you want then get off the depressing page unless it brings you joy. If it brings you fear get off, stay positive and let people love you and support you. If they pity you, don’t let them into your house or life. You need fighters next to you not grave diggers.
Appreciate each moment.
I was physically and mentally reborn since my diagnosis. I have always been a strong person, but I have never been tested like this before. I feel like I can handle anything mentally. Physically, I am weaker, but I know I have the opportunity to gain strength again so I will be fine. While chemo was tough, the most difficult part wasn’t the treatment—it was learning how to live with the daily fear of dying. Knowing my days, like everyone’s, are finite makes me appreciate each moment and love more freely and forgive easily. But when someone shows me who they are, I believe them the first time. Time is not for wasting.
Take the next step
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